How Well do you Accept the Aging Process?

I'm not afraid to admit that I'm one of those people who have been struggling to accept the fact that I'm getting older.  I know exactly the time I began this struggle, it was when I turned 41 years old.  Up until then, I hardly gave it a thought, it didn't seem to be anything I was too concerned about. 

What set it off, I think, is a few months into the age of 41, I couldn't figure out why I was having to hold things back further and further just to read them.  I had always had perfect vision so it didn't make sense to me, "what is wrong with my eyes?" I asked myself.  I knew I needed to go get my eyes checked for the first since I was a kid.  They prescribed me reading glasses, and at that point is when is when I first began facing the fact that I'm not 20 something anymore.  The next thing that happened is what really hit me hard, finding out that I had osteoarthritis in both hips.  It was very difficult to hear, my whole life I had been a very athletic, healthy and active person.  I asked the doctor how I could have that if I'm only 41, I thought that was only something elderly people develop.  He told me it didn't matter what age you are, even young people can develop it early on.  Even so, it forced me into facing the fact that I am growing older.  I guess I had some kind of notion that I would never have to face getting older.

As time has marched on, with each new little age spot, sun damage spots, and every wrinkle, I have found it increasingly difficult to accept the reality that with each year, I'm getting older, to accept that my looks will eventually fade.  That there is only so much you can do to ward off the signs of aging that shows up on the outside of the body.  If you're someone who has based most of your value on your outward appearance, it will be more difficult to accept getting older.  A lot of women go through this same difficulty as soon as they hit mid-life.  Of course, there is a good percentage of women who glide right through these changes with a lot more ease, and I think those are the ones who have learned early on that looks aren't everything in life, and to love and appreciate themselves from the inside out.  Not all of us learned that.  And because not all of us learned that, is the very reason why so many of us women take to botox, facelifts, lip injections, etc.  We are desperately trying to hang onto our more youthful days, instead of relaxing and finding the beauty in aging.  When we try too hard to hang onto what we once were, it shows, and it looks tense, uptight and unnatural.  When we relax and come to acceptance, it also shows, and it looks more confident and attractive, no matter what your age. 

I've really been working on changing the way I view getting older.  I know that I must work more on my inside than my outside at this point.  I want to learn how to value myself for who I am on the inside.  That doesn't have to mean giving up taking pride in what I look like, or give up working out, just that those are things that I don't want to be my main focus anymore. 

Slowly, but surely, I'm realizing that the time has come to step out of the competition ring.  I can let go of the need to look just right, and focus more on the spiritual side of life. 

This is one of those issues I will continue to work on and hopefully make some great improvements on in this new year.  I know that age is really just a number, and that it's how you look at things that really matter the most, it's just going to take me a little time to really embrace that.

 

 

Comments

[Christine]

I loved this blog, especially this part:

When we try too hard to hang onto what we once were, it shows, and it looks tense, uptight and unnatural. When we relax and come to acceptance, it also shows, and it looks more confident and attractive, no matter what your age.

I had recently heard a quote from a 45-year-old model that nothing ages more poorly than the ego of a pretty woman.

The operative word here is "ego." Having encountered the work of Eckhart Tolle over the past few years, I have finally come to understand the difference between the ego and Who I Really Am. This body, this face, the ego, everything around me is form and is destined to fade away. Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to believe that this is sad and ugly. The cosmetics industry is laughing all the way to the bank.

If we believe that we are doing all we can to keep our bodies healthy, then we need to accept that we will not always look like we are 21. Life just does not work that way. Why? Who knows. It just doesn't, and the sooner we accept that, the happier we will be. Yes, I agree, acceptance is the key.

[Kimmie]

Thanks Christine! Yes, I've been learning the same thing about ego and who I really am from Tolle and also Dyer. It really does take time to come to an acceptance, and living in tune with your higher nature.